The first word I spoke when I was a baby was, “No!”. I said no to everything, I even said no when I meant yes. Throughout the years I’ve definitely lost the ability to say no. I replaced it with a yes and always ended up kicking myself in the end. I would volunteer to cover shifts at my job even though I didn’t need the money. I’ve picked up the tab at a restaurant for my friends more times than I should, especially when I knew my funds were tight as hell. At one point I had inadvertently become a taxi cab driver that worked for free, running all over the town for other people. Then one day it finally hit me, Saying No is Really Saying Yes to Yourself.
Here are some benefits of saying no:
1.) Power to choose
The ball is in your court. Stop committing to people and events you are uncertain about. There is no need to feel obligated to attend just because you said you would if you never make the commitment. Ever told somebody, “Yes girl I’ll be there,” just because you didn’t want to hurt their feelings? The day comes for the event and you have mentally told yourself a thousand times you’re not interested in going, but you feel OBLIGATED to go because your word is your bond? You’ve already mentally psyched yourself out and now your vibe is wack going to the event.Next time you know you don’t want to go or you may want to go spur of the moment just keep it at a No, I can’t make it this time. Then if you decide to attend poof you’re presence is more appreciated.
2.) Your Bank account will thank you
I’m sure if I total up all the restaurant tabs, bottles at the club, and gas money I have spent within the past 3-5 years I could’ve had a very nice chunk of change sitting in the bank. All the outings are expensive and that money is not being used as a return. Going out from time to time is cool, but too much of anything can drain you. If I want to drink I can go up the street and purchase an alcoholic beverage that is WAYYYY cheaper than what I will pay at somebody’s bar, and I can tip myself.
3.) Having Self-time (They don’t call me @Mizzzz_Selfish for nothing)
Sometimes you just need that time for Self. Self-time= self care. Quiet, relaxing time maybe for a nap, maybe to read a book. I am not always interested in being in the space of other humans. The younger version of me couldn’t spend a second in the house by myself. I was probably home for a grand total of 8 hours in the week. Now the glow up version of me has no problem sitting my behind on the couch, cooking a meal, silencing my phone and turning on Netflix.
Reality check: It’s okay to say, ”
HELL NO”. You will be okay if you miss out on events that serve no benefit to you. It’s okay to silence that the phone when someone is calling you and you really don’t feel like talking. Your homegirl will be alright at the restaurant when you say, “Separate checks please”.
“It’s only by saying no that you can concentrate on the things that are really important”. -Steve Jobs
Thank you for reading. Stay Selfish.